Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
mothers and fathers were taking a stand
"Were tired of this jolly old soul named St. Nick
getting the credit for the presents we picked!
Each year we go out and work off our butts
To pay for these presents we must have been nuts!
Well, were mad as hell! We wont take anymore!
The time has come Santa to settle the score!
Pack your red bag and get back on your sleigh!
Clean up that mess Rudolph left, by the way!
We hung these stocking and we trimmed this tree!
We paid for these gifts with sweat so you see,
Go back to your sleigh and your nasty reindeer!
Things will be different, starting this year!
Dont smoke that pipe in my house tonight
And clean up that suit or therell be a fight!
The cookies are mine this time little guy!
So dont bother to eat them! Need I say why ?
Your round little belly that shakes in the night
is filled with cholesterol and too much Bud Light!
You dont fool me, you jolly old soul!
We heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
"Tell those snotty nosed brats, it has been no delight!
They pulled on my beard! They spat in my face!
They peed on my suit! Its been a disgrace!
I needed a break from this job anyway!
The hours are rough, not to mention the pay!
So I think well head south, soak up some sun,
So tell those brats, Im finished! Im done!
As he jumped in his sleigh and headed out of sight,
We heard him tell Rudolph, "TURN OFF THAT DAMN LIGHT!"
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