1. Nothing says I love you like a blow-job in the morning.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if its up put it down.
3. Dont cut your hair. Ever.
4. Dont make us guess.
5. If you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear.
6. Sometimes, hes not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Hes never thinking about "The Relationship."
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, its not different, its just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not everybodys idea of a good time.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but dont expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints dont work.
18. No, he doesnt know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Share the bathroom.
20. Share the closet.
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
24. Check your oil.
25. Dont give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
26. Dont fake it. Wed rather be ineffective than deceived.
27. It is neither your interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
28. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
29. If you dont dress like the Victorias Secret girls, dont expect us to act like soap opera guys.
30. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
31. Let us ogle. If we dont look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
32. Dont rub the lamp if you dont want the genie to come out.
33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done ,not both
34. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
35. Christopher Columbus didnt need directions, and neither do we.
36. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
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