Carlos calls his boss in the morning and says, "Ey, boss I no come work today I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache my legs hurt I no come work."
The boss says:, "You know Carlos I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me a blowjob. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that."
2 hours later Carlos calls. "Boss, I did what you said and I feel great, Ill be at work soon. And by the way, you got a nice house."