The Essential Guide to Women

Tags: want, need, youre, essential, guide

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

Im sorry = Youll be sorry

We need = I want

it’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = Youll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I dont want you to

Im not upset = Of course Im upset, you moron

Youre so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = Im going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today youre going to hate

Ill be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, youre dead]

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