This old man goes to see a Doctor to ask him for a sperm count test.
The Doctor said not to be silly. That he was to old to want to have a sperm count test. The old man kept insisting until the doctor agreed to give him one. The doctor gives the old man a vile to take home and bring back the next day. The next day, the old man doesnt show up. Another day passes and no show. A week passes and finally the old man come back with the vile. The doctor asks "what happened?" The old man says "Well doctor, I tried it with my right hand, and I couldnt. I tried it with my left hand, I couldnt. My wife tried it with her right hand, she couldnt. She tried it with her left hand, she couldnt. She tried it with her mouth, she couldnt. Hell, she even tried it without her teeth and she couldnt. Doctor asks, "You couldnt ejaculate?". Old man says, "No, we couldnt get the bottle opened!"