How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity and Drive Other People Insane

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1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. [Dont disguise your voice.]
3. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
4. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what youre doing. For example: If anyone needs me, Ill be in the bathroom.
5. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
6. Insist that your e-mail address be changed to:, or: .
7. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
8. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
9. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it IN.
10. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
11. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the break room. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "Youve got to be faster than that."
12. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
13. In the memo field of all your checks, write for sexual favors.
14. Reply to everything someone says with, "Thats what you think."
15. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
16. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
17. Dont use any punctuation.
18. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
19. Ask people what sex they are.
20. Specify that your drive-through order is to go,
21. Sing along at the opera.
22. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems dont rhyme.
23. Five days in advance, tell your friends you cant attend their party because youre not in the mood.

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